One Day in the Phantomhive Manor
by ICan'tFindANameThatIsAvailable
Summary: A grapefruit has died. What will the whole Phantomhive manor do? No pairings but I plan to make this fanfic have a bit SebCiel at the end.
1. One day

_**Basically, I had this dream a few weeks ago and wanted to share this. So, anyway this is even more descriptive than the dream. This fanfic includes: random OOC-ness, references to the future (Well, present to us but future to the 1800s people), some crack and has really slow development. Be warned and enjoy!**_

One day, in the Phantomhive manor, things were as chaotic as usual. However, today was very different for, a very important staff on a manor had met its own tragic fate:

A grapefruit had been burnt to death by Bard's flamethrower! That's right! A grapefruit! Ironically, the grapefruit was the assistant cook and not the charcoal the manor was going to eat for dessert.

The grapefruit had been loved by the entire manor, yes, even Ciel, and its death had a great impact one everyone

"(Sigh) The grapefruit was a better cook than Bard. Why was _it_ the one who got burnt and not the idiot, Bard, himself?" Ciel sighed.

"Wahhhh! Pooor graapefruuitt!" Both Finny and Meyrin cried.

"And here I thought I would have more time to myself with the grapefruit around," said Sebastian, shaking his head.

"Ho...ho...ho...," said Tanaka, sadly.

Bard, however, was the saddest of all for the grapefruit had been the apple of his eye...errm...or should I say 'the grapefruit of his eye' (Ha...haa...ha...terrible pun is terrible...).

"WHY?!" Bard cried, tears flowing down his eyes like tiny waterfalls. "Why did this have to happen? I'll never use this flamethrower again!"

Bard stomped off to the kitchen, taking his flamethrower with him, and threw it in the rubbish bin. The rest of the staff watched Bard in astonishment. Bard had never thrown away his flamethrower before. Not even when the flamethrower had burnt the whole kitchen down. He couldn't even bear to part it for a few minutes!

'He must be really depressed by this,' they thought.

The whole manor was silent for awhile before Finny spoke up," Uh...young master, Bard must be really sad because he's lonely! How about we hire a new assistant cook to help and accompany him!"

Ciel looked at Finny as he shot him a huge smile (not to mention 'stupid') and gave him what seemed like a pleading look. Ciel and the others stared at Finny with disbelief, gaping at him at the same time. Finny, being the clueless idiot he was, felt uncomfortable with the gaping stares.

"He..he..he...,"He laughed nervously.

"That's a great idea, Finny!" Ciel exclaimed, giving Finny an encouraging slap on the back. "Who would've thought _YOU_ would be the one to suggest this idea! Sebastian, find a new assistant chef. It's an order!"

Sebastian blinked in surprise before saying, "Yes. My lord."

**Well, I remember the grapefruit being the assistant chef and it 'dying' but not actually how so...I just said it got burnt to death! With Bard's flamethrower...because that's what Bard does...burning things down...**

**Anyway, this is just the beginning, so wait for new chapters!**


	2. A Plan!

"Sebastian, have you found a replacement chef yet?" Ciel asked the nest day when Sebastian entered his room to serve breakfast.

"Unfortunately, not yet, milord," Sebastian said with a little sigh.

"What about that lad who lives in the town. What's his name…oh, yes Barney? He's always complaining about being jobless. Hire him, then," Ciel responded.

"Coincidentally, he got a job just yesterday. He works as a children entertainer, 'Barney the Dinosaur – The Play*'. His work requires him to wear a purple dinosaur costume and plodding around while he talks about friendship and love."

"Plodding around with a purple costume while talking about love...His job's not going to last long then. Not to mention his dignity."

"Why, sir, you're quite right. With my demonic powers," – Sebastian wriggled his fingers in front of Ciel's face – "I can see that the children are watching him on the television and laughing at how much dignity he has left."

"Sebastian, what's a television?"

"Oh, sir, I had forgotten we're in the 19th century and not the 21st. Forgive me. A television is basically a box that has a screen and you can watch plays on it**."

Ciel stared at Sebastian wide-eyed.

"You're not joking with me, are you Sebastian?" Ciel said. "What kind of sorcery is this? This 'television' you speak of must be witch craft, right?"

Sebastian shook his head and smiled sweetly, "Why, young master, I do not tell lies. The television was created by you humans."

"Sebastian, I want this television. Now," Ciel demanded.

Sebastian sighed and thought, unknowingly, out loud, _I shouldn't have told him about the television. Now, he's going to laze about watching television. At least I didn't tell him about the computer._

Ciel, of course, heard this and exclaimed," Sebastian! What's a computer?"

Sebastian sighed and in attempt to change the subject, sang," Hey~Bocchan~! I FOUND A WAY TO HIRE A NEW ASSISTANT CHEF~!"

"Good lord, Sebastian. Stop shouting. I'm not bloody deaf!" Ciel said. "So, what's your plan?"

"Ahem, I say we advertise our need for an assistant chef. How? You may ask? Well, we perform in the theatre! And _YOU _will be performing!" Sebastian said, pointing his finger at Ciel.

"What?!" Ciel shrieked.

***I'm sorry Barney fans, I just really hate Barney.**

****That's the best I can describe a television set…XD**

**Sorry, this chapter's more like a conversation but hey...so are my other fanfics. BUT HEY! Look at my ending! It's fantastic! To me, I guess, the best ending I can write is: And the skies got clear and Timmy vowed to never _ again. The end. My endings are horrible...T.T**


	3. Snacks and fashion

"What?!" Ciel shrieked. "Me? Why not you!?"

"Well, because, young master, it would only be natural for the master of the house to do so and also _YOU'RE _the one who wanted an assistant chef in the first place and not me," Sebastian replied smugly.

Ciel grumbled," Fine, but you owe me something. How am I supposed to advertise anyway? Dressing in the most absurd costume? Dancing? Or even worse, singing?"

Ciel was horrified yet amused at the thought. He was mostly horrified though.

Sebastian smiled, "All three actually."

He held up a pair of kitten ears and a tail.

Ciel glared at Sebastian and asked," And howdid you get _that_ in the 19th century?"

Sebastian smiled and said," Well, I am one hell of a butler after all."

"Well, what about my dignity*? I don't want to end up like that lad Barney! Which reminds me by the way, you still have to give me that television," Ciel said, trying to talk his way out of wearing a cat costume.

"Hmm...Young master, I didn't think you would care about your dignity. I mean, with all this gay clothes you're wearing" – Sebastian pointed at Ciel's frilly hat and shirt – "you would've lost your dignity ages ago. Not to mention, you're wearing these clothes by choice too!" Sebastian teased, smirking.

"I think you've forgotten but _YOU'RE _the one who dresses me up."

"But the gay clothes you wear are the only clothes in your closet."

"Aren't you the one who does the shopping?"

"Well, aren't you the one who tags along when I'm out shopping for your clothes?"

"Well, yes. But that's _only _because _you _have _no _sense of style. I mean, look at your outfit! You look like some kind of butler! Don't you feel embarrassed when you go out and people look at your clothes and think you're a butler, demon?"

"Technically, I am a butler. A demon disguised as a butler to be more specific. So, not really. Being a butler is just my so called 'cover'. Besides, you gave me only this piece of clothing. I have nothing else to wear."

"Hmph, you just have the answer to everything, don't you, demon?" Ciel pouted.

Sebastian just shrugged his shoulders and said," Maybe."

Ciel frowned and stared daggers at Sebastian. If looks could kill, Sebastian would' have withered right there and then – well, if he weren't a devil and a butler.

"Know your place, servant."Ciel said, wanting to end the argument but not wanting to admit defeat either.

"Right, let's continue shall we? So, you'll do it, won't you?"

"I don't know..., what will you give me?"

Sebastian sighed.

"That's my young master, Ciel Phantomhive, always so demanding; he could even become a world class dealer," Sebastian said.

Ciel frowned even more," I'm in no such mood for your jokes."  
"Ah, forgive me. How about a chocolate parfait in exchange that you wearing this cat costume as you sing and dance?"

Ciel nodded enthusiastically. His face immediately lit up. Rich, creamy, tasty chocolate inside bread that was crunchy on the outside but soft inside and even more chocolate coated on top. With each bite, chocolate flavour would explode in your mouth. Sebastian's parfait was truly the best! **

"What am I suppose to be singing? Or dancing?"

"Sebastian smirked and whispered in his ear,"Well..."

***I almost wrote 'virginity'. Well, I guess it wouldn't matter anyway, since once Ciel gets into that cat costume Sebastian's going to lose it and...you know.**

****I just realized the innuendo...XD**

**Anyway, the only reason the ending is a cliffhanger is because…well, I couldn't think of a song. I have no idea what song to write...I'll think of one anyway and hopefully by Friday too. So...because I'm really stumped here...it'll be great if you guys can help me out...please? I would appreciate it, but even if do or not, I'm going to bug my friend for a song idea either way. Don't worry though, chapter 4 will come out tomorrow as usual. I'm planning on showing the song on chapter 5 which will be published on Friday. **

**On a completely different note, I think I'll publish a chapter each day, excluding weekends (I go out on Saturdays and I don't do anything on Sundays) because I think it's faster and more convenient.**


	4. Strawberry-scented soap

Sebastian smirked and whispered in his ear, "Well, young master, I haven't really thought of a song yet. I figured that I could probably think of a song later. Maybe tomorrow?"

Ciel stared at the Sebastian who was invading his personal space and asked," Sebastian, I see no need for you to lean down until you're touching my neck."

"Ah, sorry, young master, it's just that you smell like strawberries and you should know that demons love strawberries*."

"They do?"

"Yes, they do," Sebastian replied with one big sniff.

"Then why is it now that you start getting so close to me?"

"Because I used strawberry-scented soap on you during today's morning bath and this whole day I was occupied with work so I couldn't see you until now."

"And since when did you have strawberry-scented soap?"

"Since we went shopping for your gay clothes yesterday. I sneaked a bottle or two into the basket."

Upon hearing the words 'gay clothes', Ciel decided he didn't want to continue the argument. In attempt to change the topic, Ciel pushed Sebastian's head away from his head and said," Well, stop sniffing and get back to work."

"But I've already finished work. You'd be surprised at how much work I can finish without those three idiots around."

"Which reminds me, where are they?"

"Don't you remember? You sent them for a one week vacation because they were messing up the manor."

"Oh yes, I do remember now. So, that doesn't change anything! Go write that song you haven't written yet."  
"But, young master, you need dance training. I'll think of a song later."

"Dance training...?"

"Why, young master, I'm quite afraid you might have short term memory. We have to perform in the theatre so we need dance practices."

"I don't have short term memory. You just told me so suddenly that I forgot about the performance."

"Oh really?"

"Yes really."

"I'll take your word for it then. But right now, we need to practice on your dance routines. You dance as though you were made of wood! No flexibility at all, it's as though you were lifeless."

"I don't dance that badly."

"Yes you do."

"I don't believe it."

"Do you want to bet?"

"Sure. I don't see why I'd lose."

"Well, come on then! To the ballroom!" Sebastian exclaimed as he pulled Ciel's arm, urging him to follow.

"Wait, Sebastian! It's the middle of the night! I need to go to bed!"

"Oh, it is? I guess time must've slipped by. Well then, let's go to bed."

"What about my nightly bath?"

"Nightly bath? I completely forgot! Come on, to the bathroom!"

***I don't know if demons do love strawberries but...this is fiction anyway, furthermore, this is based on a dream.**

**So...I'm kind of late. I'm sorry. I failed. I had a headache yesterday and fell asleep. I didn't wake up until night and I still had a headache. So, yeah...talk about timing. But it has to be Thursday somewhere right? Anyway, as an apology, I give you...two chapters today! (What a horrible apology...I tried anyway)**

**This chapter is just for development so there's not much plot here. Sorry about that.  
**

**Sorry about the out of character Sebastian at the end too.**


	5. Dancing with drugs

"Good morning, young master! Are you ready for dance practice today?" Sebastian said as he went into the room to serve breakfast.

"When am I ever ready to dance?" Ciel replied groggily.

"That's a good point, young master. But, in order to make our dance practice sessions more enjoyable, I have a few tricks up my sleeve." Sebastian said as he placed the tray of food on the bedside table.

"Like what?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets. You'll just have to wait and see."

Ciel sighed. He had expected that answer. Well, like Sebastian said, he would have to wait and see.

"What am I having for breakfast today?"

"For breakfast, I've made some scones, French toast and an omelet with a cup of Earl Grey. I hope it is to your liking."

Ciel grabbed a scone and said, "Sebastian, I have a feeling that you drugged this scone with some dancing drug."

"Young master! I am offended! I assure you that there is no dancing drug in that scone."

"Okay, I believe you," Ciel said as he took a bite out of the scone.

Once he had swallowed the scone he reached out for the French toast and took a bite out of it.

"I drugged the French toast with the dancing drug instead."

Ciel eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

"What!" Ciel screamed, he tried spitting the French toast out but to no avail for, he had already swallowed it and now the drugged food was travelling down his digestive track.

"Oh don't worry, young master. There's no side effect of the drug. Only your urge for dancing and your ability to dance are affected."

"..."

"So, young master, how about a dance practice session now?"

"Yeah! Let's go!" Ciel exclaimed, before realizing what he had said. "Wait! What did I just say! I don't want to dance...I don't want to... I want to dance!"

"Ah, I see the desired effects of the drugs are working."

"Desired? More like unwanted!"

"Shall we go dance?"

"Yes! Let's go!" Ciel said, shaking his head frantically to show that he didn't mean it.

Sebastian chose not to notice the frantic hand shaking and walked out of the room, urging Ciel to follow. Ciel fought with his drugged self and tried as hard as he could not to follow. However, the drugged side won and he reluctantly followed Sebastian.

He was out the door when he heard Sebastian say," You shouldn't fight with the drug. It is, after all, from where I come from. You'll only lose."

Ciel cursed under his breath. He followed Sebastian down the hall; his legs seemed to have a life of its own, it wouldn't follow his own orders. He was outside the ballroom when he decided: I'm not looking forward to his tricks anymore!

**At first, I didn't write a drug part. But, I soon thought that it would be needed since, it's not likely that Ciel would dance voluntarily. I mean, come on. He's Ciel. So anyway, I'll publish the next chapter on Monday. But if I have another headache, then you're out of luck. My headaches are the worst; they last for hours if I don't take medication. **


	6. Resistance

Ciel stared nervously at the door in front of him. It was an elegant and wide door. It was painted chocolate brown; it had intricate and beautiful design carved into it. It was truly beautiful. However, no matter how beautiful it was, to Ciel it was the door to Hell.

"Come on, young master, come inside. There's nothing to be afraid of," Sebastian taunted.

Ciel clenched his fists and said in a clearly irritated tone, "No."

"Young master, this is important. Please come in, I'm giving you two choices now: either you come in, or I make you come in against your will."

Ciel stared at the door. He clenched his fists tighter. His knuckles were white. He frowned and thought, '_Bastard, he's not giving me any fair choices! If I choose either choice, he still wins. It isn't fair!'_

He stood there for a moment thinking, then, a wicked plan formed in his head: '_I'll stand here and not go inside. Maybe if I concentrate really hard, I may still be able to control myself.'_

He smirked and stood rooted to the ground.

"I'm waiting," he heard Sebastian say.

Ciel crossed his arms and sat down.

"Well, young master, you are quite stubborn. You leave me no choice. Get inside the ballroom and we'll dance." Sebastian said.

Ciel instantly felt his legs move, trying to get up. Ciel immediately, with all his might, tried to resist his legs. He used his hands and pushed his legs down. His legs stopped moving for awhile. Ciel smirked in victory.

Sebastian saw his smirk and said, "The round's not over yet."

"Well, I beg to differ." Ciel replied.

"Hmph," Sebastian said. "We'll see about that."

And with that, Sebastian pointed at Ciel and said loudly," Dance with me."

Ciel's arm began to move and Ciel had no control of them. His legs started to move and soon he was walking in.

"What? What did you do? How could I resist the last time and not now?"

"Like I said, young master, a magician never reveals his secrets." Sebastian said and he placed a finger on his lips to emphasise his words.

Ciel was sick and tired of Sebastian's cocky attitude. He was fuming. Not to mention, Sebastian's smiling face, AKA taunting face, was not helping him at all.

"Sebastian, I order you to tell me. Why? Why could I resist at the first try but not the second time?"

"Ah, young master, I thought you would have figured it out soon. It is quite easy to understand. You are no fun indeed."

Ciel was not amused.

"The reason is simple: if one is under the demon dancing drug, then that person will be enthusiastic about dancing once they hear the word 'dance'. He can only stop dancing after five minutes. The effect is quite short though – the demon drug wears out only after one day. Also, the louder you say the word 'dance', the stronger the person's enthusiasm. The first time I said that word, it was quite soft, so you could resist it, but the second time was much louder so you couldn't resist it."

"So, Sebastian, you're saying that so long I hear the word 'dance', I will be enthusiastic about dancing?"

Sebastian nodded.

Ciel gave him a crooked smile. The kind which would suggest that the young Earl was planning something wicked. Which, obviously, he was.

"Come on, Sebastian, let's dance." Ciel grabbed Sebastian's hand and pulled him into the middle of the ballroom.

'_This will be fun' _Ciel thought.

**So...what is Ciel's plan? Find out tomorrow!**

**Hehehehe...to tell you the truth, I'm kind of excited to write the next chapter. Buuuut, I'm too lazy, I'll write it tomorrow. **


	7. LALALALA

"Young master, what are you doing?" Sebastian asked as he followed Ciel.

"Well, what does it look like?" Ciel replied.

"It looks like you...are...enthusiastic...to...dance...?" Sebastian said the last word softly.

"Yup," Ciel said.

"That's...unusual. I sense that you're planning something."

Ciel gasped, pretending to look offended. He exclaimed, "Hey! I am offended! Why can't I, an innocent Earl, try to dance?"

"Well, that's because, you, an 'innocent' Earl, do not like dancing. And also, you are not _that_ innocent."

Ciel sighed, feeling annoyed at Sebastian's remark. He opened his mouth and said, "Well I can try, can't I?"

"I suppose you can."

Ciel smiled victoriously. He listened to Sebastian lecturing him about 'how he danced like he was made of wood' and 'warm up exercises'. Which, of course, Ciel wasn't listening to. Instead, he was smirking and thinking about his plan in his head.

"Young master, may I ask what you're smiling about?" Sebastian asked when he saw the goofy smile plastered on Ciel's face.

"Hmmm..? Oh, I was just thinking about how fun it might be to dance," Ciel lied.

Sebastian immediately saw through Ciel's lie. However, he didn't think much about it and let it pass.

"So, young master, shall we begin our warm up exercises?"

After the warm up exercises, which Ciel did badly, Sebastian taught Ciel the dance steps.

"Come on, young master, your turn."

Ciel smiled, things were going as planned. '_Now it's just the time to carry out my plan,' _Ciel thought.

"No," Ciel said and sat on the floor with his legs crossed to show that he meant it.

"What?"

"I said, 'no'."

"Why, young master? You were so enthusiastic just now."

"Well, that was then, this is now."

"..." Sebastian sighed, getting annoyed.

Ciel could sense his annoyance and smiled. His plan was working!

"Young master, again, I'm giving you two choices, either you dance, or I make you dance. Which one will it be?"

"Hmph," Ciel sat on the floor and ignored Sebastian.

"You leave me no choice, young master. Danc-" Sebastian got cut off by Ciel.

"LALALALALALALALALALA" Ciel screamed.

"What are you doi-"

"LALALALALALALALALALALA"

"I'm serio-"

"LALALALBLAHBLAHLALALA"

Sebastian sighed, "Young ma-"

"BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHLA"

Annoyed, Sebastian placed his hand on Ciel's mouth and said,"Young master, what are you doing?"

"Singing," Ciel said sarcastically.

"So...you're saying that you suddenly feel like singing?"

"Maaybee~" Ciel sang.

"I'll take that a yes. If you suddenly feel like singing, then I'll be happy to oblige."

Ciel stared at Sebastian; he did not think that his plan was going to backfire. Sebastian noticed Ciel's shocked face and said, "Oh don't worry, we'll start tomorrow. I still have to find that singing drug, because, I know you won't sing voluntarily."

Ciel muttered under his breath,"Shit."


	8. I don't want to sing!

"No, Sebastian! I don't want to sing! Let's continue to dance instead!" Ciel whined, pulling Sebastian's arm, preventing Sebastian from walking.

"But, why, young master? You were so excited to sing just now that you had to interrupt my dance lessons. And besides, you have an amazig and powerful singing voice. You could even become an opera singer," Sebastian teased.

Ciel grumbled, wanting to argue back, but decided against it, in fear that Sebastian would give him the demon singing drug.

"Well...that was then, this is now."

"Young master, you can't just keep using the same excuse every single time we have a row."

"Well, I can."

"Now, if you excuse me, I'll go find that demon singing drug," Sebastian said as he turned around to leave.

"Wait!" Ciel grabbed Sebastian's hand, "Remember that I'm still under the demon dancing drug's influence? What would happen if I take the demon singing drug together with the dancing drug?"

"Hmm...I'm not sure. To be honest, I don't actually know. Shall we find out?" Sebastian said.

Sebastian held out his arm in front of Ciel's face, his hand was in a tight fist. Slowly, Sebastian opened his fist, inside was a pill. Ciel deduced that the pill was most likely the demon singing drug.

"No...Hell no. I'm not taking that. I could explode. I could die. I could turn into a unicorn. I coul-"

Sebastian cut Ciel off before he could continue.

"The chances of you staying in one piece, alive, and not a mythological creature are pretty high too."

"No, I don't want to take the risk."

"But, young master, I thought you liked risks."

"I do, but not those which involve demons."

"Ah, but you like risks that involve killing?"

"It's not like I wanted to. I had no choice. There are too many pedophiles who want to kidnap me here. Besides, aren't you the one who do most of the killing?"

"Yes, but like you, I had no choice. A certain _someone_ ordered me to do so."

"Well, maybe, this certain _someone _was in trouble and needed help from his demon butler."  
"(Sigh), I do not wish to have this argument with you, young master. Now, do you want to take this pill and risk exploding, or, do you want to continue our dance lesson?" Sebastian asked, clearly annoyed.

"I also do not want to continue this argument. How about we just continue this dance lesson and forgot about this argument. Now where were we?"

"Right, let's continue. Try to memorise the dance routines..." Sebastian droned on.

Ciel half listened to Sebastian's teachings, and half daydreamed. He wasn't interested in the dance, but to make Sebastian pleased, he would endure the next half an hour.

"Remember, young master, tomorrow, we begin our singing lessons. Be sure to take good care of your voice. We'll be having dance lessons every two days and singing lessons the day between.*"

Ciel nodded.

'_This will be a long week_' he thought.

***If you're confused. Here's a rough timetable of Ciel's week during preparation for the performance:**

**Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun**

** Dance Sing Dance Sing Dance Sing Dance  
**

**I apologise for the seemingly out of character Ciel.**


	9. Let's sing!

The next morning, Sebastian was in Ciel's room with a tray in his hand.

"Good morning, young master!" Sebastian said as he shook Ciel's leg. "Time to wake up. You have a big week coming up."

"Ugh...go away, I'm tired," Ciel groaned.

"Hmm...? But you can't laze about, you have to perform next week!"

"Next week?! But I'm not ready!" Ciel said as he shot out of bed.

"Well then, you better practice harder. Don't want to shame yourself, do you? Here, eat."

Sebastian held out the tray in front of Ciel's face. Ciel looked at the food suspiciously before pushing it away.

"No thanks, I'm afraid this might be drugged with the singing or dancing drug."

"I assure you that there's nothing in this food."

"That's what you said the first time."

"No, this time it's true. I have plenty of ways to make you sing."

"Well, I don't believe you and I'll prove it! Finny! Come here!" Ciel hollered.

"W-what is it, young master?" Finny said as he stood outside Ciel's room.

"Come in and taste this French toast," Ciel gestured Finny to come in.

"Are you sure? I mean, I am a mere servant after all."

"Yes, yes. Here," Ciel shoved the toast in front of Finny.

Finny nervously took the toast and took a bite out of it. After some awkward silence, Ciel questioned him.

"So...does it taste funny or anything? Do you feel different?"

Finny replied nervously, "Uh...n-no. W-why? Is it drugged or something?"

"Maybe...I don't know. I called you here just to see if there was anything in it. Well, have a good time then. Don't blame me if anything weird happens. You may leave."

Finny looked worried.

"Ha...ha...yeah, I'll leave..." Finny turned around and walked out of the room, feeling nervous and jumpy all the while.

"So, young master, have you had enough proof?" Sebastian said as he waved the food in front of Ciel's face.

"Fine, I'll eat it," Ciel said as he took a big chomp out of the food in Sebastian's hand.

After Ciel was done eating, Sebastian dragged Ciel out to the ballroom to practice his singing. Sebastian had told Ciel that the bathroom was their classroom and each lesson would be two hours long.

"So, we'll be singing for two hours?" Ciel said.

"Apparently so. Let's begin shall we?"

Ciel was reluctant at first, afraid that Sebastian would tease him. But soon, he began to relax a little and started to sing more confidently. Soon, the two hours were up, the lesson was over.

"Young master, you sang really well. I'm sure you'll be ready for the performance."

Ciel blushed, unused to being praised by Sebastian. He felt embarrassed at the same time yet happy. He liked Sebastian's praise. He wanted to hear more of his praises.

'_Maybe this week wouldn't be so bad after all,'_ Ciel thought.

**Wah, I'm sorry if this chapter's a little boring...I ran out of my muse for this chapter...**


	10. Backstage

**I'm sorry for the late update! I was busy the whole weekend! As an apology, I won't be posting two chapters up today (you'll see why at the end) but, I will upload a few more chapters that will have a few 'behind the curtains scenes and such. I know, what a horrible apology, it's the best I can offer anyway.**

After days of singing and dancing practices, it was time to showcase Ciel's 'talent' to the whole London population. Backstage, Ciel and Sebastian were getting ready.

"Sebastian, I can't do this! What if I mess up?" Ciel said, nervously fondling with his fingers.

"Young master, you'll do fine. You've been practicing really hard. You won't mess up," Sebastian said, trying to calm the boy down.

"B-but, what if I d-" Sebastian cut the boy off.

"You'll do fine. I promise. Besides, I still owe you a chocolate parfait, don't I? If you do well, I'll give you a batch, if you don't, you can kiss my chocolate parfaits goodbye forever. Okay?"

Sebastian smiled his usual 'you-better-not-mess-up-or-I-will-kill-you' smile. Ciel looked at Sebastian, uneasy.

"Now, young master, let's get into costume," Sebastian held up the pair of cat ears and tail.

A few minutes later, Ciel was dressed in a white, long-sleeved shirt, a pair of short, navy blue pants, and a pair of blue ears and a blue tail to go along with the costume. Sebastian looked at Ciel closely, eyes squinted in concentration.

"What?" Ciel asked, looking at Sebastian suspiciously.

"Nothing much, young master, but..." Sebastian paused for emphasis.

Suddenly, Sebastian pulled Ciel into a tight hug, nearly squeezing the life out of the small boy.

"...you're so cute!" Sebastian finished the sentence.

Ciel was almost suffocating in Sebastian's tight grip, which also could be considered a death grip.

"Uh...Sebastian, let me go,"

"Oh, err...sorry. I got carried away with...your cuteness," Sebastian said.

"Excuse me?!"

"When you were wearing the cat costume, I mean."

"Oh. Wait. So are you saying that I don't look cute without this cat costume?" Ciel fumed.

"No! You look cute with or without you cat costume!"

"So you're flirting with me now!?"

"NO! Uh, I mean...you look cute. In a non romantic way, of course!"

Ciel opened his mouth to speak.

'_Oh my goodness, how many more remarks does this child have?' _Sebastian thought.

"Are yo-" Before Ciel could continue, a voice interrupted him.

_'Thank goodness,' _Sebastian thought, relieved.

"Ciel Phantomhive, to the stage," A man called out.

"Oh, young master! It's your turn now! Break a leg! And before you ask, no, I don't mean it literally. It means 'good luck'. Now go on. I'll be watching from backstage"

Sebastian pushed Ciel to the stage and stood behind the curtains. Ciel took a big breath, walked to the center of the stage and opened his mouth...

**And now, you can see why I didn't want to upload the next chapter. I am so evil...haha...not really...**

**Technically, the next chapter will be the last and the story will be marked as 'completed'. But, as I promised, I will still upload some chapters which are full of crack even after the story is completed.**


	11. I need an assistaaaant chef!

Ciel opened his mouth, and as loud as he could, he sang," I need an assistaaant chef!"

As he sang, Ciel slowly raised up his both his arms in the air slowly. The audience stared at Ciel, shocked. The expressions said the same thing: '_Is this Ciel Phantomhive? In a cat costume? Performing in public? And at the same time embarrassing himself?' _

Ciel noticed their gaping stares, he felt uncertain and his whole face became red with embarrassed.

He took another deep breath before continuing," One who does not burn the fooood!"

He shook his hands, still in the air, sideways, making an 'I don't want it' gesture.

"I need an assistaaaaant chef!"

Ciel stopped shaking his hands and lowered them to his waist.

"The last one was buuurnt to death!"

He bent and straightened his fingers for a while.

"Please be my assistaaant chef!"

Ciel held his own hands and puts them in front of his own face, as though he was begging for something.

"I'm sure you'll find joy serving meee!"

At this point, Ciel smiled widely and pointed at himself using both hands.

"I'm not like that Traaancy boy!"

Ciel pointed at Alois who was in the audience watching Ciel embarrass himself, amused.

"I won't pooooke your eyeball out!"

Ciel shakes his head as he points to his own eyes, er...eye. This of course, earns him an argument from Alois.

"She was looking at me in the eye! Servants don't do that! She deserved punishment!" Alois shouted from his seat, only to be ignored by Ciel as he continued to sing.

"I'm sure you will like it aaat

The glorious Phantomhive manoooor!"

Ciel then proceeds to dramatically spread his arms, with his palms facing the ceiling, before putting them down again.

"We have clean floors!"

Cielspread his arms again but this time, his palms were facing the floor.

"Unlike most places heeeere!"

Ciel put his hand in front of his chest with his palms facing the audience as he shook his hands sideways, making an 'I don't want it' gesture again.

"I'm sure you won't miiind

Sleeping in a cooomfy bed!"

Ciel made a sleeping pose and closed his eyes, pretending to be in a deep, comfortable sleep. Then he opens his eyes.

"All you have to doooo is

Cook for meee!"

Ciel made a stirring motion, pretending to be stirring a pot.

"I need an assistaaant chef!"

Ciel raised his arms and puts them down again slowly.

"I'll even shake my bum for you!"

The original plan was to turn around shake his bum in front of the audience, but being Ciel, and to protect what dignity he had left, Ciel only shook his hips slightly before turning around quickly. When he turned around, he was greeted with the sight of the whole audience trying not to laugh (and failing horribly). Ciel felt his whole face heat up and become red again. He sighed and continued.

"Here's my cuuuute cat ears"

Ciel pointed at his cat ears.

"Aren't I cuute enough for you?"

Ciel made a peace sign with both his hands and points to himself, trying to appear sweet.

"Coome help mee cook wooon't you?"

Ciel held his own hands and puts them in front of his own face, as though he was begging for something.

"I need an assistaaaant chef!

I'm sure you want to help me ouuuut! "

Ciel spreads his arms out, hands pointing towards the audience. Then, he spun around with his arms still outwards. Then, as loud as he could, he said the last word.

"Hey!"

Ciel clapped his hand twice. His performance was completed. He looked at the audience who were laughing. Ciel looked embarrassed. Then, all of a sudden, the whole audience stood up and clapped their hands.

**Woot, this is...a...horrible chapter... I tried anyway.**


	12. Conclusion

Ciel looked at Sebastian for reassurance. Sebastian, too, was laughing and smiling. When Sebastian noticed Ciel staring at him, he gave Ciel some advice.

"Bow and thank them" Sebastian mouthed at him.

Ciel nodded and did as he was told to do so. Then, he quickly hobbled backstage, ignoring Sebastian who was smirking at him.

"Let's go home," Sebastian heard Ciel say.

Back at home, Sebastian was in Ciel's bedroom, teasing Ciel about his 'little performance back there'. Ciel grumbled, not wanting to talk about his 'little performance back there' which was humiliating. Then, a bulb seemed to light up in Ciel's head.

"Ah! Sebastian, you owe me a batch of chocolate parfaits remember?"

"Yes, but I said if you did a good job. And I haven't said if your performance was good or not."

Ciel glared at Sebastian.

Sebastian chuckled and said," Just kidding, I'll make those parfaits now."

With that, Sebastian went to the kitchen.

A few days later, a few people came to apply for the assistant chef job. It took a lot of time, but soon, Ciel decided who would be the assistant chef - A banana. Oh, did I forget to mention that the people who applied were all fruits?

Anyway, Bard got a new assistant chef who he adored very much. Ciel got his chocolate parfaits and everyone was happy. The end :)

**And we reach the end of this story. With a horrible ending. Yup. Stay tuned for more chapters full of crack!**


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